Get Married

It is a strong word, marriage. And we haven't even talk about how I feel about it. Not that I'm counting, but it's the third time that I received an invitation to my best friend's wedding. The very first one, when my friend in USA, Amanda got engaged. I woke up one Saturday morning and I was checking my inbox lazily when I got her message telling me she'll be married in less than a year or so. I was in a busy semester in College at that time and how I wish I had a wedding to prepare instead of those classes.

The second time happened just last month. I was switching my cell on after my plane landed in Surabaya when I saw there was one unread message. The message turned out to be my friend's, Meta. She told me that a nice man just proposed to her on that weekend and the wedding will be on this March. I was shocked, in a good yet uneasy way. There I was, on a very-tight-schedule work trip in a-very-hot-Surabaya and there she was, on a beautifully-shocking wedding plan. Uneasy is an understatement.
The third time was couple days ago. I was about to go to the grocery store with my Mom (she and my sister visited me in Jakarta) when I checked out my Facebook page just for something-to-do. Then Nurul dropped the bomb on me. Isya is getting married next month. It's Isya, one of the three favorite girls I knew from High School. Ah well, somehow I always knew she will get married first. Lol.

The thing is, I don't really give a damn when other people get married. It's one of those normal and natural things that happened around you. You can't help it. But there's a huge, huge difference when your best friends do it.
A best friend is someone that you know very well and they have a very special place in your heart. And there's something about marriage that changes people once they decided to do it. Well, I speak based on what I see actually. What do I know?
It's really like a mysterious journey. Every body ought to do it and when people you know take it, you feel like you are left behind. They have different priorities now, they have someone closest to them now, they are part of something so beautiful, sacred and blessed by God.

For the last couple of months, since I turned twenty-four, my family (particularly my Mom, of course) has been nagging me about marriage. Not about having a boyfriend, not about going on a date, but about getting married. To be honest, it's not that I don't want to get married, but seriously, it needs two persons to do so. I always wanted to get married since I was a little kid. Not that I have everything planned, but I thought I'll be married at twenty-five. I'll turn twenty-five by the end of this year. How do I feel about it? I seriously have no freaking idea.
I want to marry someone I love and loves me back. I want that to be the sole reason. Not because people think I'm old enough to get married, not because I'm so lonely I need a company, not because I want somebody to depend on, not because anything else.

If you ask me, there are different reasons why I don't have a boyfriend (yet) and why I'm not married (yet). The later one requires more thinking and a blessing from God. I completely rely on that, and my Mom will completely disagree with me. She said it also takes an effort -the only thing I'm reluctant to make-. God knows me best, and I trust my God. Maybe it's not like I will meet my future husband in a bus stop or at the book store, but I won't force it no matter what. I can't force it, no matter what.

So, to my soon-to-be-married friends, I wish you have a wonderful journey ahead, with a God-chosen-partner holding your hand and walking next to you. For Isya, it sucks that I won't be coming to your wedding. You will be the prettiest bride ever, that's for sure. I already asked Nurul to do me a favor, when she found that lucky someone, she won't have a wedding in January, February or March, it's the peak season at the office. Haha. Just kidding.
I'm so happy for you all,girls. Can't help but hoping I'll follow on your foot-step soon. Hey, a girl can wish, right?