Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!

I know that it's cold when it rains, but somehow I always feel warm. It always got me thinking of a soothing image of me wearing my favorite sweater, getting cozy in my bed with a mug of hot chocolate in my hands and a book on my lap. Then I will take my eyes off the book occasionally to look out the window and see the rain drops on the window-pane. Every colors are more firm when it rains; the trees and grass are greener, the stone looks more gray, even the mud seems beautiful with its brownish color. Everything looks calmer and finally in unison. Like they at last put aside their differences and agree to savor in the rain.

I always sleep well when it's raining. The sound of the rain on the roof somehow relaxes me. Even if I'm happened to be walking outside or have to squeeze my self in a bus with no seat left, when I take a look out the window and see the rain, I feel home. And if I'm lucky enough to be standing near the window, I'll draw a smiley face on it just to show how happy I am. I don't understand when people feel annoyed when it rains. Sure it'll be inconvenience if I don't have an umbrella with me and can't afford getting wet because I'm on my way to work with all the heels I'm wearing and the laptop I'm holding, but still I will quietly take shelter with a smile on my face. Sometimes I open my palms up and let the rain drops gather like a tiny lake on my hands. I enjoy the moment when all I can do is stand there and watch the rain, let it rain. It takes you off your mundane business and force you to drop everything and relief your fatigue by taking refuge in the rain, not from the rain.

And of course I love when I can afford to get wet; when I do not have to bother getting my umbrella out. I will walk peacefully amidst the rain, letting my clothes soaked and the water drips from my hair. So I don't get the "you are raining on my parade" expression. I mean, now that's the parade is cancelled, why don't we dance in the rain instead? Oh I love dancing in the rain, I might as well descended from toad for all I know. When I was little, I made origami boats out of my notebook page and put them on the pool that the rain gathered in my front yard. The toads would be singing and I would be dancing to the music that the rain created when it fell to the earth. It was pure happiness, the feel of the rain pouring on you. I would pull my head back and opened my mouth to taste the rain; the rain drops hurt my face a little but it was a bliss moment nevertheless.

I also don't know why some associated the rain with sadness. In the movie they often make it rain on the funeral when somebody dies; or when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend and the girlfriend finds this urge to run to the nearest bridge and screams at the top of her lungs and finally sobs; or when a bitter truth is revealed (in this case the rain is usually preceded by a loud sound of thunder). My point is they usually make it rain when the actors are about to cry and I'd like to think about that fact as comforting. I mean, what is the best way to conceal your tears than crying in the rain? So, it's not "Great, after all that happened to me, now I'm alone, wet, cold, and dripping", but more like "Thanks God it's raining, now I can weep as much as I want because nobody will see the tears I shed". That's why, I somehow believe that the rain is romantic. Looking at the couple kissing in the rain or trying to get as close as possible under a tiny umbrella or even just the sound of water splashing when the kids running around in the rain; is romantic. The entire process when the sky turns gray, the lightning strikes, the sound of thunder, the rain starts to drop -you can actually smell it beforehand-, till it eventually stops and leaves some drops lingering on the tree branches; the whole thing makes me sentimental.

When the rain stops, you can feel this serenity like those quite moment before people starts clapping hands at the musical performance. You look around and you see people resuming whatever activities they were doing before the rain; you see the drops lingering on the bench, on the branches, on the roof; you see how clear the road is after the rain washed the dust away; you see your reflection on the pool of water that remained. Then you can see the sun shines through the clouds and there it is, not too far above as if you can reach it, hang the seven layer of beautiful colors, the passage to golden treasure; the rainbow. There's a longing that I have in my heart after the rain stopped, so I'll take any form of rain whenever it comes. The light drizzle that almost like the mist on a fall night, the sprinkle that covers your hair like the morning dew, the November downpour and even when it's raining cats and dogs. So the rain never stop me from having a wonderful day, it makes my day instead. I will put my hoodie and my sneakers on, grab my umbrella, and hum all my way out the door. Walking is the best way to travel in the rain anyway, if it's not dancing.

Get Married

It is a strong word, marriage. And we haven't even talk about how I feel about it. Not that I'm counting, but it's the third time that I received an invitation to my best friend's wedding. The very first one, when my friend in USA, Amanda got engaged. I woke up one Saturday morning and I was checking my inbox lazily when I got her message telling me she'll be married in less than a year or so. I was in a busy semester in College at that time and how I wish I had a wedding to prepare instead of those classes.

The second time happened just last month. I was switching my cell on after my plane landed in Surabaya when I saw there was one unread message. The message turned out to be my friend's, Meta. She told me that a nice man just proposed to her on that weekend and the wedding will be on this March. I was shocked, in a good yet uneasy way. There I was, on a very-tight-schedule work trip in a-very-hot-Surabaya and there she was, on a beautifully-shocking wedding plan. Uneasy is an understatement.
The third time was couple days ago. I was about to go to the grocery store with my Mom (she and my sister visited me in Jakarta) when I checked out my Facebook page just for something-to-do. Then Nurul dropped the bomb on me. Isya is getting married next month. It's Isya, one of the three favorite girls I knew from High School. Ah well, somehow I always knew she will get married first. Lol.

The thing is, I don't really give a damn when other people get married. It's one of those normal and natural things that happened around you. You can't help it. But there's a huge, huge difference when your best friends do it.
A best friend is someone that you know very well and they have a very special place in your heart. And there's something about marriage that changes people once they decided to do it. Well, I speak based on what I see actually. What do I know?
It's really like a mysterious journey. Every body ought to do it and when people you know take it, you feel like you are left behind. They have different priorities now, they have someone closest to them now, they are part of something so beautiful, sacred and blessed by God.

For the last couple of months, since I turned twenty-four, my family (particularly my Mom, of course) has been nagging me about marriage. Not about having a boyfriend, not about going on a date, but about getting married. To be honest, it's not that I don't want to get married, but seriously, it needs two persons to do so. I always wanted to get married since I was a little kid. Not that I have everything planned, but I thought I'll be married at twenty-five. I'll turn twenty-five by the end of this year. How do I feel about it? I seriously have no freaking idea.
I want to marry someone I love and loves me back. I want that to be the sole reason. Not because people think I'm old enough to get married, not because I'm so lonely I need a company, not because I want somebody to depend on, not because anything else.

If you ask me, there are different reasons why I don't have a boyfriend (yet) and why I'm not married (yet). The later one requires more thinking and a blessing from God. I completely rely on that, and my Mom will completely disagree with me. She said it also takes an effort -the only thing I'm reluctant to make-. God knows me best, and I trust my God. Maybe it's not like I will meet my future husband in a bus stop or at the book store, but I won't force it no matter what. I can't force it, no matter what.

So, to my soon-to-be-married friends, I wish you have a wonderful journey ahead, with a God-chosen-partner holding your hand and walking next to you. For Isya, it sucks that I won't be coming to your wedding. You will be the prettiest bride ever, that's for sure. I already asked Nurul to do me a favor, when she found that lucky someone, she won't have a wedding in January, February or March, it's the peak season at the office. Haha. Just kidding.
I'm so happy for you all,girls. Can't help but hoping I'll follow on your foot-step soon. Hey, a girl can wish, right?